the long and winding road
Hmm, where to start... I sit here today and think that there is someone else that I want to write to - but at this moment it doesn't seem the right thing to do. (and I have to start listening - when it doesn't seem right - then don't do it!)
You know when you meet someone and you get a good vibe off of them and you want to talk to them some more. Time passes and the conversations have happened over email - strangers opening up ever so slightly. Then you meet them again face to face and talk for hours. And it feels so nice - you have to remind yourself - I don't really know this person - i don't have to tell them everything- but they ask questions- and me being who I am answer with honesty. To my detriment perhaps...but i don't want to lie. -But discretion could be better. Put the heart inside the sleeve.
So much is said, and at the same time details are lost because you are trying to cram in a lifetime in a short time. Somewhere those details that are lost are needed to make a picture clearer - but that part of the conversation is past... for now?
I feel like I have been watching my life pass by lately. Beyond the fact that time seems to be speeding by faster and faster. Is that what happens when you get older and have responsibilities to think about instead of the being able to run around the playground until it starts to get dark with no other worries. I feel like I am outside of myself watching me go through rather life-altering experiences and analyzing those experiences and being so clear now as to how I feel.
My past has finally become my past- in regards to a relationship that ended a year and a half ago - though it felt longer because it died slowly - and painfully - I am now on the other side of it - i have been given answers and had all the doubts it brought up about myself put to rest- and I couldn't ask for anything more. This makes me feel happy- reassures me that what i thought was real - was.
And now....I have the take flight blues. I want to get out and travel again. Or just get out of this city. I don't know why I always want to get out of here. Maybe because I am really meant to be somewhere else? It affects every part of my life- from work to relationship- i don't want to get boxed in- but at the same time- need to survive- does it make sense?
Anywho...all i know now is that I am ready to ignore those demons in my head that say I'm not good enough and say ENOUGH!
As long as I make me happy - I cannot care if someone doesn't see the sparkle! because someday someone will :)
You know when you meet someone and you get a good vibe off of them and you want to talk to them some more. Time passes and the conversations have happened over email - strangers opening up ever so slightly. Then you meet them again face to face and talk for hours. And it feels so nice - you have to remind yourself - I don't really know this person - i don't have to tell them everything- but they ask questions- and me being who I am answer with honesty. To my detriment perhaps...but i don't want to lie. -But discretion could be better. Put the heart inside the sleeve.
So much is said, and at the same time details are lost because you are trying to cram in a lifetime in a short time. Somewhere those details that are lost are needed to make a picture clearer - but that part of the conversation is past... for now?
I feel like I have been watching my life pass by lately. Beyond the fact that time seems to be speeding by faster and faster. Is that what happens when you get older and have responsibilities to think about instead of the being able to run around the playground until it starts to get dark with no other worries. I feel like I am outside of myself watching me go through rather life-altering experiences and analyzing those experiences and being so clear now as to how I feel.
My past has finally become my past- in regards to a relationship that ended a year and a half ago - though it felt longer because it died slowly - and painfully - I am now on the other side of it - i have been given answers and had all the doubts it brought up about myself put to rest- and I couldn't ask for anything more. This makes me feel happy- reassures me that what i thought was real - was.
And now....I have the take flight blues. I want to get out and travel again. Or just get out of this city. I don't know why I always want to get out of here. Maybe because I am really meant to be somewhere else? It affects every part of my life- from work to relationship- i don't want to get boxed in- but at the same time- need to survive- does it make sense?
Anywho...all i know now is that I am ready to ignore those demons in my head that say I'm not good enough and say ENOUGH!
As long as I make me happy - I cannot care if someone doesn't see the sparkle! because someday someone will :)
posted by sparklypear at 6:36 p.m.
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